Existence of What is Ought to Exist.

[i AM always TIRED, SLEEPY, EXHAUSTED. But I am HAPPY with what I am doing :) though it makes me feel so weak and tired.]

“Women never have a half-hour in all their lives (excepting before or after anybody is up in the house) that they can call their own, without fear of offending or of hurting someone. Why do people sit up so late, or, more rarely, get up so early? Not because the day is not long enough, but because they have 'no time in the day to themselves.' ”

--Florence Nightingale [1820-1910]

During my three years as a nursing student, I faced different emotions. I've been through different struggles. I've learned so many things. I gained knowledge. I've experienced the different situations that once determined my worth of being in this field, of being a nursing student. I encountered different situations, in the clinical area, that once made me realized many things. Do I still have to push through with this chapter of my life? Do i really have to wholeheartedly accept all the situations, the confusing one that I am going through?

Different class schedule. Late evening dismissals. Six straight hours of lecture [sometimes eight]. Consecutive requirements. Return demonstrations. Knowledge interrogation. Thick.Thicker.Thickest BOOKS. Early clinical duty. The Case Studies. Grand Case Presentation. The Drug studies. Nursing Care Plans. Sustainable care of every patient. One, two, three .... sometimes, eight patients during every shift. Different Nursing genre subjects. And the related medical subjects. SUMMER CLASSES. What more? Nursing Informatics, Health Education, Pharmacology, Nutrition and Diet Therapy..

Those are, the things.. that once made me think, "Do I still have a personal space left for myself?" Sometimes I want to quit. I want to give up. Think of the struggles, the fatigue and nausea. How much sleep I deprived for myself. BUT, on the back of my mind, I always remind myself that this path is what I chose. I want this. I always wanted to be a part of someone's life through giving and showing them that I care. That I will always be there. For them. Not for my own good sake. But, for the sake of other needy people.

I think, this is my purpose in life. I exist because I want other to exist.

xoxo, Liz. :)